Wish

For the past 14 years, I have always wished for the summer to fly by.  First comes that dreaded day in June.  Then a day in Mid July.  August waits until almost the end to approach.  Father's Day, his birthday, his anniversary.  When I was a freshman in college, sometime after the new year, my dad began experiencing pain in his back.  After countless tests, visits to doctors, second & third opinions and time in the hospital, I was given the horrible news while home on spring break.  It's cancer.  NO!  There is no way!  I didn't even want to go away to college to begin with, and was homesick from the time I left that hot day in August, and this would complicate matters even more.  I remember telling my parents that I would not be going back there.  Absolutely not!  I needed to be there for them and my brother.  My brother, he was only a freshman in high school...he should not have to deal with this.  They requested that I finish out freshman year, as it was only about another month and a half, and we could discuss options when I moved back home.  I agreed after many tears, but thinking about the lectures, studying, finals, made me nauseous.  I honestly don't know how I completed the semester.  The doctors gave a poor prognosis, saying most likely it would only take months.  When I thought months, I wasn't thinking 4 months!  Today is 14 years since that dreadful day that we lost him.  I love you Dad.

For the past 5 years, Chris's parents have owned a place outside of Sea Isle, giving me a sort of solace from the "real world" of emotions.  Now I can say that I don't dislike the summers as much, because seeing my children create their own memories helps me to build on my own.  

I wish...
I wish I spent more time with him that summer, instead of always fleeing to my friend's houses for solace.
I wish I talked to him more about his fears.
I wish my mom didn't have to bury her husband so young.
I wish my grandmother didn't have to watch her son suffer.
I wish he was the one who taught my brother how to drive.
I wish he saw my brother graduate from high school, and the both of us from college.
I wish my cousins got to know him.
I wish Chris, my in-laws and family got to meet him.
I wish Chris was able to ask him for permission to marry me. 
I wish he walked me down the aisle (although, I am grateful for my uncles and brother who filled in perfectly!)
I wish I felt his hug when we announced our pregnancies.
I wish he was part of the celebration when Aiden and Raegan were welcomed into the world.
I wish he held my babies the way only grandparents do.
I wish Aiden could learn how to golf from an "almost" pro.
I wish Raegan could have tea parties with her Pape.
I wish he was at every party, get together and family dinner.
I wish...I wish...I wish...

Aiden has his eyes, thankfully, so if only in one way, my wish did come true...he is here, every day.

Jumping in...

Here I am, entering into the world of blogging.  Well, I shouldn't say that.  I have a blog for my business, but I wanted to do something for myself that I will have to look back on years from now, to show my kids about their every day happenings and adventures, and for my sanity.  I met the man of my dreams, Chris, when we were both students at West Chester University in West Chester, PA.  After a few years of a friendship and experiencing every emotion possible that accompanied the attacks of September 11th, 2001, I realized that I wanted more.  We became a couple on September 14th, 2001.  We married on May 14th, 2005 and have since welcomed the two most amazing children.  Aiden, 4, is the typical boy who loves everything about sports and Raegan, 1, is becoming more of a "girly girl" as each day passes.  I graduated college with a degree in Psychology and am very thankful to have used that degree for my first 4 years in the work force.  Unfortunately, I suffered major burnout and moved on to a job in insurance that I enjoyed at the time...following in the footsteps of my mother, who only ever had a job at the same insurance company for 30 + years.  The office closed abruptly after my maternity leave ended last May, and Chris and I were left deciding what to do.  I have been a stay at home mom ever since, loving every minute and have many stories to share.
I have also had a love of photography for as long as I can remember and I jumped feet first into my own business about 2 years ago.  I photograph everything from pets to newborns to weddings and everything in between.
I love Philadelphia sports, but baseball is my ultimate favorite and I am not a fair weather fan.  Music is an outlet for me, all kinds, but country and the 80's are always the preferred.  I have forever been engrossed with books and I just recently purchased a reader tablet.  I do love it, but to be honest, I miss the turning of paper once in awhile.
I love fall and spring, and only LIKE winter and summer, mainly because of the dramatic temperature changes.  I am not too picky with foods and love me a good dessert...I wish I could travel more, as I believe seeing the world is crucial.  Aruba and Spain have been my two most favorite vacations to date, but hoping for many more to write about.
I am lucky to say that my family and friends mean the world to me.  The relationships that I have with each and every one is so important.  My mom is my hero and my mother in law and father in law are both amazing. I adore ALL of my siblings, whether through blood or law, as they are amazing role models for my children.  I have a very close circle of friends, that I wouldn't change for the world, and love that all of our children are becoming each other's friends.  (These will most definitely be subjects in future posts). 

I used to faithfully follow many, many blogs daily, but I have slacked since staying at home.  The ones that I can say I still follow obsessively, are read for motherly suggestions, help, humor and simply because I LOVE reading each post.  Feel free to read and comment as you wish, as I hope that I can continue the trend as a blog writer and provide for you and all of the other blog readers.

Smiling,

Ashley